Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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