none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
