Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
