i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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