Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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