Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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