wanna go halves on a baby?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
