oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
