I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
