I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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