my sisters under your porch take her home
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
