Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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