I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
