I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
