I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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