I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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