i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize