Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The best revenge is premature balding
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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