drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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