I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize