Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize