And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
