He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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