From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize