You really coming over, don't trick.
We're facebook friends in real life
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
