dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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