I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
