adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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