Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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