one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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