I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
