He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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