Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
