wat bout pragnant strippers??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
