am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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