All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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