speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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