Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
