I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
