singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
