If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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