wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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