Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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