I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
