He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
