I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
