either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
