youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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