Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
