Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Come on in and take your pants off
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