Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
should my penis look like a turkey
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
