college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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