I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
