Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Alive.
So much puke
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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