dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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