If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
