My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it glows. i had to have it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
