I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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